Sparklies are...lovely!

So...It's been a while.

What's happened...Aunty Lucy passed away in May. Raul and I went to NH and came back engaged. Teresa and Alex got married. Raul and I moved in together. Kyla and Ryan decided that they are going to be getting married December 2nd. I quit my job a Walgreen's.

A lot, I know.

It's my 22nd birthday tomorrow and I feel absolutely no excitement over it. None whatsoever. But oh well...I guess that's just how some things turn out. Maybe I'll feel better about it tomorrow. We will have to wait and see...

Kisses and good night, y'all...

It's been forever since I wrote anything in here. It's odd, actually, considering that I normally write something all the time.

Random theory here, but would it be great if life were like Monopoly. Pass go...Collect $200 dollars. Now, that certainly would no be good for some people, but for others of us that might work out pretty well.

My sex life is rather nutty. I realized the other day that him and I have more sex than most couples....Oh, well....Really I'm not complaining. It's going to suck when we're in NH as we have sex 2 or 3 times a day when we're together and we aren't gonna get any for the 2.5 weeks that we're up there. We have to go for 3 weeks without sex! That's a wicked long time for us when you consider we usually see each other every weekend and do it more than once every day that we are together....

Speaking of NH...We leave for 2.5 weeks for NH!!!!! I cannot wait to see Kyla and Ryan! We're gonna have so much fun and I promise that I'll tell you about it and put up some pictures when we get back. It's really, really gonna suck going back to work, though.

If you could eat anything you wanted, and not have to worry about gaining weight/being unhealthy/inhumane, what would you totally pig out on? 
Submitted by Jay.

Tacos and sausage soup!!!!!

You know that awful skipping sound a broken record makes...or maybe a scratched cd makes...I'm starting to sound that way.

The last 3 weeks have been very difficult on me...Anxiety and stress took over for a while and I picked up a new stress habit...Insessant scratching and non-existant itching. I really believe that it's all in my head, but who knows...could be bugs, I guess....

I've been feeling pretty awful lately and I know without a doubt that I have been pretty awful to my poor, darling boyfriend. I've been prone to getting upset over little to nothing and, while we haven't been fighting persay, I know that I've been giving him my silent treatment...Not talking and letting myself get to the point where I am nearly in tears; the problem being in that I know without a doubt that my tears upset him terribly and make him feel responsible for them. I need to stop it.

I love him very much and that behavior is cruel to him.

I have it! I'm going to let it go...I'm going to go-with-the-flow...I can't worry about everything like a damn mother hen anymore...It's too much work to be like that. All I want is to learn to be happy and relaxed; to take things as they come and not to constantly be afraid of what might happen...

And so, to borrow a phrase from my wonderful boyfriend and also my brother, "Shit happens."

Work is going to learn to stay just there...at work. No more coming home...You will stay where you belong...In that hell-hole.

I am going to work on my bad behavior towards Raul. Maybe it's jealousy (though of what only God knows) and maybe it's stress...The point is it needs to stop.

And you know what, I can do this. I can do better and be a better person and take charge of my own life. No one writes my story, but me and I refuse to let others do it anymore. Not only that, but I refuse to allow myself to tear down all the hard work I have put into me these last 6 months....

It's ok....

• to think of yourself first.
• to admit you're wrong and secretly tell yourself that you're still right.
• to only dance when you're alone.
• to sing as loud as you can in the car.
• to challenge yourself.
• to prefer names like Sarah and James, instead of Apple and Vader.
• to get married because you're in love.
• to dream once in a while and maybe even live a few of those dreams.
• to keep your friends closer than your enemies.
• to let him think he runs the show, even though you know that job is yours.
• to party like it's your last.
• to only like the pretty drinks.
• to dance around the house naked.
• to wear pink because it's your favorite color.
• to not suck up at work.

What's one of your favorite quotes? 
Submitted by Georgie-boy. 

“Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” – Galadriel (FotR)

I think I may have a problem....

When I'm not getting it and can't get it, I'm dreaming wonderful dreams where I am getting it...and getting it really good, too.

I found out on Tuesday night that, apparently, Raul wanted to ask me to marry him at Christmas time. He didn't, though, because he was afraid it was too soon (we'd only been together about 3 months).

Then he wanted to ask me to marry him when we went to NH. He said it was because I would be home and with my best friend. I think it would've been sweet and romantic. He isn't going to, though, because he doesn't have the ring, yet.

He then told me that he was thinking he wanted to ask me when we went to Disney in August. I think that would be really sweet and really romantic and I would love to be able to remember that vacation as the time I got engaged. Plus, I would love to be able to say that I got engaged at Disney! We'll have to wait and see...Long time for me to wait, though....5 months....

I'm wondering how this could happen.

I understand that you didn't know what he was doing until it had already occurred, but what I can't understand is why you said nothing. I felt so violated. You know how private I am and about sex of all things. That is a subject I am extremely private about.

So, you see, I fail to understand how you could not say anything about it, even just a "That wasn't cool;" particularly when you know how much it upset me. You love me, I know you do, so how could you allow someone to speak to me that way.

I wouldn't hold you responsible for this, but since you said nothing to him, I do, just a little. It's not going to be easy for me to trust you about this for a bit. You'll have to earn my trust back and I will not talk about anything involving sex online again for an extremely long time.

So, Wednesday was a really bad day at work for me. I called Raul and ended up leaving a message on his phone saying that I needed to talk really badly.

Well, he took it as there was something the 2 of us needed to talk about and when I finally talked to him yesterday afternoon, the first thing he said to me was something along the lines of "What do we have to talk about that's so important?" There was a brief pause and then "You're not pregnant, are you?"

I almost wanted to laugh...Ok, so I laughed. Seriously, if I were pregnant, not only would I be having a meltdown, but I would have put in a 1,000 times greater effort to get ahold of him...Nope, no babies yet.

....Though, I wonder what his reaction would be if I told him I was.....Hmmm......