7 posts tagged “sex”
It's been forever since I wrote anything in here. It's odd, actually, considering that I normally write something all the time.
Random theory here, but would it be great if life were like Monopoly. Pass go...Collect $200 dollars. Now, that certainly would no be good for some people, but for others of us that might work out pretty well.
My sex life is rather nutty. I realized the other day that him and I have more sex than most couples....Oh, well....Really I'm not complaining. It's going to suck when we're in NH as we have sex 2 or 3 times a day when we're together and we aren't gonna get any for the 2.5 weeks that we're up there. We have to go for 3 weeks without sex! That's a wicked long time for us when you consider we usually see each other every weekend and do it more than once every day that we are together....
Speaking of NH...We leave for 2.5 weeks for NH!!!!! I cannot wait to see Kyla and Ryan! We're gonna have so much fun and I promise that I'll tell you about it and put up some pictures when we get back. It's really, really gonna suck going back to work, though.
It was such a nice weekend...But real briefly, he told me that he's going to put a downpayment on "The Ring" when he gets his paycheck next Friday...I'm not sure how much I believe that he actually will, but he knows how much it upset me when he said he would and then didn't this past Friday, so we'll see....
Want to see it? Of course you do....
I picked up Raul on Friday and we basically relaxed all afternoon. Then we went to dinner at the Outback with Amy and Heather, the pregnant lady. He's so sweet to me. We were going to play, but we were both way too tired. Ok, we played at little.
I was woken in a most lovely manner Saturday morning. In fact, if he wanted to wake me up that way every morning, I'd be a very happy woman. We went to Islands of Adventure at Universal. We had tons of fun. We had lunch at the Nascar sports bar at CityWalk. Never in my life have I eaten cheesecake that tasted SO good. We also went to Downtown Disney.
We went to the Fair on Sunday with Brandon. It was tons of fun, but it was soooooo windy that we were all cold. I ate yummy, yummy elephant ear...Close enough to fried dough for me.
Monday was a day for not too much. We went to Cinnamon Sticks for 'brunch' and, even though I wasn't impressed with my food, I very much enjoyed my company. We basically lounged around for most of the day. Play time was supposed to be left for that night, however, it didn't really work that well and occured several times....Oh, well. I won't complain.
Today I worked and then came home to find my wonderful boyfriend. We layed around and I sort of slept, until he made sure I was awake in a most fun manner.
Then of course, on the way to Tampa, I baraged the poor guy with odd questions. Let's see....
- Did he know we'd be together when we first started talking in August? He said Yes.
- When did he know he was in love with me? He said after we'd been together for a month.
- When did he know he wanted to marry me and have children with me? He said he realized he really wanted that in the last month or 2.
I am sure I asked him some others, but those are the ones I remember. And after this conversation, I realized just how much I love him. I cannot wait to marry him and have a family and life with him.
Adding a little bit of humor here, we were talking about my parents going out together for a night when we're at Disney and the boys both suggested that we sneak in on them a disrupt them. Ha ha! Not funny guys....But anyway, Raul said that when him and I want alone time, we'll have to keep where we're going a secret. This brought me to asking if we were going to be having raunchy, downright pornographic sex...At first, it was a joke, though he thought it was a fantastic idea...(Go figure...Lol.) Then I realized that raunchy, downright pornographic sex could be very, very fun...Yes...Fun....
You'd be so proud!! I know I am...
Saturday was wicked awesome...Mom, Aunty Jeanne and I went to the International Mall, picking up Raul before we got there. We had fun and I had the BEST pasta I've ever eaten...The Cheesecake Factory! Who'd've thunk? Mmmmm! It was so delish!!
Saturday night was even more WICKED awesome...Terrible english, I know, but incredibly true!!!!! We were supposed to be watching 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest,' but, of course, you know we didn't. This wasn't just any old making out, though. It was significantly more sexual than usual...I lost my shirt somewhere along the line, leaving me in nothing but my panties (and essentially naked). I surprised myself in allowing this to happen, but I was honestly ok with it. It was fun to...play...He touched me...Like touched me...in new places and it was amazing!!! I was so hot and wanted him so fucking badly. If he'd wanted to go farther...or had pushed for it, I don't believe I would've objected.
I don't believe that it was a matter of him wanting to go there because I honestly believe he wanted to. I think it's more of a matter of him being respectful f what I was ready to do. I think that if I had told him I wanted more than what I was getting, things would have moved to the next level. I did want that, but I'm not sure that I was ready to go quite that far at that time. Maybe sometime very soon, though....I think he should come visit me in the tub...There's a thought!
And I need some pretty things..underthings and night things...Ooo La La!!!
I LIKE playing with him!!!
I was reading over some of my old writings from my written journal earlier today...
How odd is it that just 5 months ago I was talking about how we'd see where things went with Raul? Now I'm with him and very happy...I've fallen completely in love with him and I know he is totally in love with me. We've been together 3 months now, December 6th. It's funny how it doesn't seem as though it's been that long and yet, at the same time, it feels as though it's been longer. We've talked about living together and getting married and having children. It's the most incredible feeling, you know; being in love.
And the way he makes me feel is unequal to anything in the world. He makes me feel loved and beautiful and sexy and wanted, both physically and mentally. I feel desired and protected with him.
I've found that I love making out with him. It makes me feel incredible and all thought goes fuzzy. Plus, it's like desireably suffocation, since I feel like I can't breathe when he touches me. And when he does, I only want him to touch me more and more. I want him; really, really badly. That surprises me because I always thought I would have to be in a relationship for a very long time before I would ever contemplate the idea of having sex. I guess love changes that...and desire and want. When he jokes about getting naked, I'm finding it harder and harder to say no...I'm not sure that he's actually joking, though. But, anyway, I want to say yes to him. I want to sleep with him (and not in the friendly way we normally do).
As an ego thing, I suppose, I keep wondering how badly (or how much) he wants me in that way. Part of it is me wanting to know and part of it is me needing to know. As far as I can tell, he wants it as badly as I do, if not more. If it's more, then he wants it wicked badly; somthing awful terrible.
It's been me having to say no because I was facing a stupid body issue. I didn't like it, but I had an epiphany and realized that I am who I am. I'm not fat and I'm not ugly. I'm beautiful...gorgeous. I love myself and my personality and yes, even my body. And he loves me; my personality and, I believe, my body. Other than my own opinion, no one else's matters but his on the issue of my body.
And who knows, the next time the idea of getting naked (and all that includes) comes up, I may not be able to say no. What I want to do with him may become what I can do.
That leaves one minor detail to this whole particular subject and the when of it actually occuring. Not that it's going to remain this way, but since I'm not on the pill at this point in time and have not been for the last year, protection is a must have. Not the I this it even has the option of being any other way because it doesn't. And I don't know if I really want to go back on the pill...I don't think I need to worry about this overmuch, though. I'm pretty damn sure he feels the same way about it. I'm not into making babies, yet...With him, though, I will be very much into making babies, someday. Besides, that's a very simple issue to remedy.
it's a big deal, sleeping with him, mostly because I've never had sex before. I know, though, that there is no one else I could fathom giving that part of me to; no one else in the world I would want to have that part of myself.
Anyway, the point is I REALLY want to do that with him and my ability to deny him is becoming less and less. Plus I imagine it's making him insane, having to wait.
So, I wanted to write about this, but wanted to be able to keep the whole world from reading it, if I felt the desire to.
I'm going to restate the obvious, first. I love Raul. I love him so much. I miss him horribly when he's away from me, even if it's only been a few hours. He's the very best thing in my life. I cannot wait to live with him and marry him. I can't wait to have children with him. And, while I don't always understand why, I know without a doubt that he loves me unconditionally. I know he'll always love me and take care of me and protect me. I know he'll do anything for me. He has quickly become everything to me and, as long as I have him with me, I would be perfectly fine with nothing more. He makes me feel amazing and beautiful and sexy. He makes me feel wanted for who I am; mentally and physically.
So, here I am, telling you my feelings and we come to the point of this little post of mine.
One of the things I love to do has quickly become making out with my wicked awesome boyfriend. It makes me feel so good and I don't know that he understands quite how much I enjoy it. What's more is when he touches me, I feel like I can't breathe (not a bad thing in any way, whatsoever). It makes my head all fuzzy and I want nothing less than for him to touch me more. And when he touches me, I want him. Lord almighty, do I want him. And to a certain point that scares me because on one level, I'm ready to do that with him; I want to do that with him. On another level, though, I'm not ready for it. I know that he'll wait until I'm ready and I know that he would never force me to do anything I wasn't ready for. I'm afraid that he'll be disappointed in what I might bring to that. I have zero experience with sex and I don't want to disappoint him with regards to that. I'm not ready for him to see me naked and I think that's mainly the point. I don't like me naked, so I don't know how he could...
And this really came into my head because the conversation came up earlier. On the one hand, I wanted to say yes. On the other hand, I couldn't and all I could say in response was that I couldn't give him that yet. He said he was ok with that and that if he ever did something I wasn't comfortable with to tell him. The fact that he'll wait only makes me love him more. And I came to the realization today that I am a terrible tease and I shouldn't walk around 1/4 naked or tell him I'm naked in the tub.
Oy vey!!!
I had the most awesome day today! Is 'most awesome' proper english? Probably not...
Raul came to see me and we basically just hung around. We took a lovely tour of Inverness...Walgreens, Blockbuster, Bealls, Big Lots, and Beef O'Bradys. We watched 'Cars'...Well, sort of. There was more kissing than watching. That was fine with me. I don't dare lie and say that I didn't enjoy making out with him. Let me tell you, that's a fun past-time...and one I could regularly participate in...I was so upset for him to leave, but we kissed in the rain. It was really sweet and romantic...I'm always falling more and more in love with him.
Want to hear something totally random and...wierd? When we're making out...and really getting into it, I oddly get this urge to bite him. I don't know where it comes from or why I want to, but I do....I'm not really sure what to do about it....
I used to think that I'd want to wait a significant amount of time before I thought about having sex, but I'm finding that the more I'm with him, the less I want to wait. When he touches me, I have a hard time thinking...And when we're making out, I find myself wanting him to touch me more and thinking about sex...I find myself wanting it more and more. Obviously, I don't want to rush it, but if it came to that, I wouldn't object. I want him...Really want him. Shit, he can lock me in a room and do what he wants with me. Not a single objection will be uttered from my lips. It's beginning to be frustrating just talking about it...Honestly, I worry that I won't be any good at it, but I almost think that I'm to the point where I want it enough that it is an issue I can push to the side.
